He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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