Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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