so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
