Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Randomize
