She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
