There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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