dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
