I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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