This is not my ceiling
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
