Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize