There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
