Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize