On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
