I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
