I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
