i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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