that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize