so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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