I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
