Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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