ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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