Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
pop tarts are not kleenex
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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