at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
