so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There's even glitter on my cock...
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