I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
