Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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