Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
