Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I've blown a few things in my day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize