BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
