Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
