i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
