mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
