After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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