My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
