dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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