All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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