I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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