NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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