The brown eye won't let me do that either.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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