I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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