All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
