i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
vagina is talking i cant
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
