Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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