I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
