My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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