Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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