He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
