so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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