I will die if light touches me.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Are we still banned from the library?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
