got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sext me about skeletons
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
