Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
