I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
