i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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