it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
