At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
