garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
