why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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