apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize