SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
