K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
