I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
