we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
