So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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