after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
