That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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