I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
