We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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