Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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