To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
